i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
