I need help removing her.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
