I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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