he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
