I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
