Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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