Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
