Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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