i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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