you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
