based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
