i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
