Someone shit on the floor
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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