Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
