but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
