my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
