Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We had sex on a dog bed..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
