She's JV to your varsity
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
