dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
