Porn is love you can see.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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