i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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