so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Did I show you my penis last night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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