when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
