i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
