Me too!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
