I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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