I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
