pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
