I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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