Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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