I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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