Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
