I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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