Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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