So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
