Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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