I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
