Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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