If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I believe in your delicious
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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