sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
