Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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