Porn is love you can see.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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