I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
