I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
