I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
