i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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