So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
