I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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