I need help removing her.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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