Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
